To more fully understand what frigidity is in women, you need to know its symptoms, which can manifest themselves both individually and have common features. The most typical symptoms of female frigidity are:
• Permanent or intermittent lack of sexual desire.
• Perception of sex as a duty.
• Annoyance when trying to talk about sex in general and about sexual problems in particular.
• Loss of interest in sex even with a loved one.
• Lack of body response to sexual intercourse. At the same time, excitement does not appear, lubrication is not released, orgasm and emotional discharge do not occur. As a result, after such “cold” sex, frustration and irritation arise.
• Possible appearance before and / or after sex of pain in the genital area and anus.
According to the intensity of symptoms and the direction of its manifestations, 4 types of sexual dysfunction in women are distinguished:
• Weak libido when sexual desire arises, but quite rarely. In this case, a woman can even experience an orgasm.
• Insufficient and intermittent sexual arousal, when a woman desires sex but is unable to become aroused or remain aroused long enough during sex.
• Orgasmic dysfunction, where the patient is unable to achieve orgasm or this happens in exceptional cases.
• Painful sexual intercourse, when, with the complete well-being of the genital organs, during stimulation of sex, pain of an unclear etiology occurs.
Because of her frigidity, a woman becomes irritable, feels guilty towards her partner, is in a state of constant depression and depressive moods.
What are the causes of female frigidity?
The causes of frigidity in women can be psychological and physiological.
Psychogenic reasons for the development of female frigidity are quite diverse. The most relevant are:
• Staying women in a state of constant stress and overwork. A woman who is tired and tormented by worries will prefer sleep to sex, and she simply will not have the strength for love joys. Perseverance of a partner can end in sex, but for a woman it will not bring any pleasure. Having served her conjugal duty, she will feel a distance from her satisfied and carefree snoring spouse. Especially at a time when a swarm of thoughts is spinning in her head about what to cook for breakfast, how to have time to iron her husband’s shirt, build “brakes” for the children to school and at the same time still have time to put herself in order, “put on” a smile on her face and get to work. Not surprisingly, even the thought of sex will irritate her.
• Experienced before, even many years ago, sexual abuse, especially if it was the first sexual experience in the girl’s life. Pain during defloration and a feeling of helplessness can become a serious psychological barrier to a normal sexual life, and even more so to sexual activity. It is almost impossible to overcome it on your own; without contacting a psychologist or psychotherapist, it will not be possible to solve the problem.
• Constant quarrels, betrayals, separations and return of a partner, continuously emerging problems in relationships can cause a woman’s negative emotions and even disgust for her husband. Non-healing emotional wounds, the fear of contracting something venereal from an unfaithful husband does not allow you to perceive your partner as a close person, and sex with him turns into violence against yourself.
• Selfishness and inexperience of a man in sex, when he thinks about getting pleasure only for himself, paying minimum attention to arousing a woman before coitus and does not even know where her erogenous zones are. No wonder people say that there are no cold women, but there are inept men.
• An obsessive fear of pregnancy, not included in the family plans, does not allow a woman to relax and enjoy intimacy.
• Prevention of pregnancy by coitus interruptus.
• Repressive family upbringing that does not approve of emotional emancipation, but encourages coldness, restraint and closeness in relationships.
• Expectation neurosis – typical for suspicious women who expect something incredible from sexual contact and therefore try to fully control the process. As a result of such tension, she cannot fully relax and achieve orgasm.
• The need to suppress the manifestations of orgasm, caused by external factors. For example, the treacherous creaking of the bed with sleeping children or parents behind the partition, screams and groans during the peak of pleasure that neighbors can hear, etc.
• Chemical dependence (alcohol and drugs).
Physiological causes of female coldness to sex can be:
• Injuries of the genital organs with impaired innervation.
• Postpartum damage to the walls of the vagina, leading to pain during intercourse and, accordingly, a decrease and lack of sexual desire.
• Pathologies of the development of the genital organs.
• Endocrine of
changes caused by impaired activity of the endocrine glands (ovaries, thyroid gland, pituitary gland) involved in the formation, excretion and regulation of sex hormones. For example, lowering estrogen levels reduces the effects of sexual stimulation and makes the vagina less elastic, which can lead to pain during sex.
• Temporary frigidity can cause beriberi and post-infectious asthenia.
• After childbirth and during lactation, there may also be vaginal dryness and weak libido, but all these phenomena are temporary and after 2-3 months, sexual desire is restored.
• In addition, some chronic diseases (eg, diabetes, obesity, hypo- or hyperthyroidism, arthritis, headaches, multiple sclerosis) can also lead to frigidity. Patients with cardiovascular diseases, renal and hepatic insufficiency, and spinal cord injuries can also fall into the category of frigid ones.
It should be said that frigidity has its own classification. According to cause-and-effect relationships, the following types of hypolibidemia are distinguished:
• Constitutional, in which the lack of sexual desire is due to congenital functional insufficiency of the psychosexual sphere. It occurs quite rarely.
• Symptomatic, which is a consequence of certain diseases, including endocrinological, gynecological, oncological, as well as underdevelopment of the genital organs, postpartum vaginal stretching, drug addiction, alcoholism. Hypolibidemia can be formed by taking certain medications (antidepressants, antihistamines and sedatives).
• Retardation associated with the delayed development of sexual feelings. In this case, the woman begins to feel desire only some time after the start of a regular sexual life.
• Withdrawal frigidity occurs with prolonged sexual abstinence. If a short-term absence of sex stimulates female libido, then a long one leads to the extinction of conditioned reflexes developed during regular sexual intercourse. It is an actual problem for women of middle and older age.
• Psychogenic, arising as a result of psychological disharmony between partners (rudeness of a partner, abuse in life and sex, ridicule, bullying and other actions that cause rejection in a woman).
In addition, there are primary and secondary (acquired), as well as true and imaginary frigidity. An example of a primary is, for example, constitutional hypolibidemia, and a secondary one is psychogenic. Imaginary can be considered temporary sexual coldness during pregnancy or post-infectious asthenia.
Primary frigidity is relatively common in young girls. Its cause is emotional unpreparedness for sexual intercourse, when the body is already ripe, but the mind and feelings are not. Especially if the intercourse did not occur as a result of physical attraction and sympathy for the partner, but because the girl does not want to be a black sheep among her friends who have already experienced all the “charms of sex”. If the reality turned out to be worse than expected or the partner was inexperienced and rude, then the girl may develop a persistent aversion or indifference to sexual relations. To overcome this type of frigidity is possible only by building a trusting relationship in a pair with a sensitive and loving partner.
Secondary frigidity caused by pain during intercourse can be explained by the fear of re-experiencing pain and the negative emotions induced by it. It arises for a number of reasons – gynecological diseases, hormonal disruptions, mental disorders, GM neoplasms with damage to the hypothalamus zone, etc. In this case, frigidity can be eliminated only after the underlying disease has been cured.
We smoothly approached the main issue – the treatment of frigidity. Tell us more about it.
Many people ask the question not only what frigidity is, but also how to treat it. After all, indifference to sex makes a woman’s life emotionally unsaturated, devoid of vivid, unforgettable sensations and experiences. Although in general it does not deprive her of the ability to have children and start a family. But not every woman manages to hide her frigidity from her partner for a long time, sooner or later the husband will feel her coldness and naturally attribute it to himself, which obviously will not benefit their relationship. Moreover, a frigid woman is prone to developing depression, explaining this state by her inferiority and finally exhausted herself in attempts to imitate ecstasy from her partner’s actions. But more serious complications of not having sex are possible, especially if it is caused by hormonal imbalances. After all, often hypolibidemia is the first bell that something is wrong with the body. In addition, prolonged abstinence and the absence of a partner can cause a woman to have such diseases as:
• Infertility.
• Myoma of the uterus.
• Polycystic ovaries.
• Mastopathy and neoplasms of the mammary glands. It is precisely because of the lack of sex that nuns develop much more often than in the entire female populationthese diseases occur.
The treatment of frigidity is mainly handled by a sexologist. It largely depends on its etiology, therefore, before prescribing therapy, a woman should be carefully examined by a gynecologist, endocrinologist, psychotherapist, narcologist. Depending on the identified root cause, the sexologist may refer the patient for treatment to a highly specialized specialist. A woman’s partner also needs a sexologist’s consultation, since both are involved in sex.